The feedback process was very useful to me. I learned a handful of things that i will definitely consider in revising my paper. I learned that some of my ideas need to be directly connected to my thesis so that the reader does not feel that I'm just putting facts on my paper that do not relate to my thesis. I also need to work on clearly defining my thesis so that my reader clearly knows what I'm talking about. Also i need to add flow to my paper so that the reader stays on the tough of train i want them to follow. My ideas in my paper can be some what trivial so it is key that i present them clearly and efficiently.
My main point in my paper is the tactics fast food uses to keep their customers coming back and the morality behind the tactics they use to keep us coming back. it is important we know this because even if you eat fast food you are still being affected by them. I used references from two books i was able to find on my subject. The books explore many aspects of fast food in depth and are very reliable. I want to include more statistical sources in my paper because i feel my reader will be impacted better thought the combined use of statistical sources and scholarly ones. when presenting a source i carefully chose what i quote so that i can directly tie back to my thesis. if the quote can be easily interpreted another way i tend to leave it out because it may take away from my point.
Yes, Edgar, this looks like a good plan. Just remember that you should also explore some more sources that help us answer why we keep coming back to fast food. Could it be marketing strategies? Lifestyles that are busy? The value on convenience? Etc? These can be very useful perspectives that could tie in to this issue.
ReplyDelete